I know how the Colonel feels. Starting this fall, “Professor” Farr will begin a full time position at Hudson Valley Community College teaching and supervising future substance abuse counselors. And although I did not use any explosives, machine guns, or covert means to knock Bosco Albert “B.A.” Baracus out and get him on the plane, I am loving the feeling of this plan coming together! For me and my “A Team,” it marks an end to the culmination of preparation and praying and sticking to a plan that began over a decade ago.
It all started when I attended the college between 1998 – 2000 as a student in the chemical dependency program in which I will now be instructing. My primary goal at that time was to get the educational hours required to sit for a New York State certification test that is required for substance abuse counselors – the CASAC. I got much more than I bargained for at Hudson Valley; I truly enjoyed all of my professors, and I wound up being placed as an intern in an addictions clinic run by St. Peter’s Hospital where I would later be hired and continue to work at various levels to this day.
When I completed the HVCC program and earned my CASAC, I remember thinking how great it would be to teach at the college, and to work with other up and coming counselors. This was pure fantasy at the time – a daydream born of my respect for the Hudson Valley faculty and their program, mixed with the desire and drive to work with others entering the addictions field. This admiration and the dream never disappeared, and over the following years I would mentor several students from the program in my position with St. Peter’s. I then went back to another college in pursuit of a Master’s Degree in teaching. I earned that degree as well, and left my full time position as a counselor to work as a teacher for a BOCES program.
Life is funny. And not always “Ha Ha” funny. Upon being hired for BOCES, cards and phone calls and well wishes poured in from friends and family about the achievement of my goals and landing a job in what was considered one of the more stable and better paying teaching environments at that time. Then came the “Ha Ha” part. I’m not sure if America is officially declaring it a “recession” yet, but in less than one full school year in this position the proverbial rug was pulled out from under me and several other new employees for BOCES. The economic crunch was on, and that meant the last hired were the first fired.
My resume was revamped and posted online. Teaching positions suddenly became scarce, and those that were available were filled by veteran teachers who had abruptly lost their jobs to the economic downturn. It was not uncommon to hear that one full time teaching position within a school was receiving hundreds of inquiries from out of work teachers. I went on several interviews, and even made it to the second round of a few, but invariably I would hear that a teacher with more experience had gotten the job. It was hard to be bitter or resentful about this because I had worked at BOCES with people who had decades of teaching experience and who found themselves suddenly unemployed, and I truly wanted the best for these good people and their families.
Back to the drawing board I went. Throughout all of this I had continued to work for St. Peter’s on a part time basis as a counselor. My part time hours were increased to include more work in the evenings. My wife began substitute teaching again. I took on a few jobs building things for neighbors and doing some other odd jobs. We started selling things around the house on craigslist and ebay. When we ran out of things at our house to pawn, we picked and rummaged through garage sales and roadside treasures. During this time, our families on both sides helped out immensely with generous gifts and continual love and support through the struggles, stress and straining.
Friends and acquaintances would occasionally call to inform us of a full time position in the addictions field or in some other line of work. These people knew people, and offered to put in a good word for me. They were thoughtful, caring offers and we really appreciated the concern, but my wife and I were resolved to stick to our primary shared plan: to spend as much time together as a family as we possibly can – especially while our children are growing up. This was the biggest reason I had considered becoming a teacher in the first place. My mom was a teacher and my father was a workaholic. My wife’s mother worked as a nurse and her father as a police man. Neither of us had spent as much family time together while growing up as we would have liked to – especially time which included our fathers, and we were determined to make this the number one priority for our family.
But things were getting tougher and tougher financially, and I found myself away from the house more often with these “part time” jobs than I would have liked. The ends were beginning to not justify the means. I started First Step Consultations. Everyone loved the idea, and a few schools booked programs before the clamps on the “economic downturn” got even tighter. Everyone continued to love the business, but no one had the money to pay for presentations.
At this point, just to make things more interesting, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. No “Ha Ha” here. Everything stopped. All plans and hopes and daily routines came to a screeching halt. They seemed suddenly insignificant, pointless, and transitory. A new plan – the crisis plan – was enacted. Google, research, and read up on everything related to breast cancer. Find doctors we trust and listen to them. Do what they say. Do anything they say. Just take it away. Just get better. Just live. It is amazing to me how quickly and entirely every plan in your life can change upon hearing a few small words. Everything had changed. So we made the new plan and moved slowly forward with it – one step, one moment, one day, one week, one month – sticking with the plan. The best outcomes for the worst situation continued to happen. The crisis plan was working – it was coming together. She is now cancer free.
At around the same time of my wife’s diagnosis I became aware that HVCC was looking for an adjunct instructor. I applied and, somewhat surprisingly to me, I got the job. I began teaching one class about the basics of chemical dependency – Addictions 101 in a sense. After the first semester, I was asked to teach two more classes dealing with addictions, and by the beginning of fall 2011 courses, I was instructing four courses. I was gaining a good reputation among the students, and my hard work was being recognized by my boss with the offer to teach more classes. The money was not great, but momentum was growing toward the goal of a full time job. One small detail that I did not want to acknowledge in my plan was that there were, in fact, no full time positions offered, mentioned, or even rumored about at that time. But I considered that a trivial detail. The differences in my personal definition of faith and the complete and utter denial of facts are often very small in these situations, so ignoring the obvious was not difficult for me. I needed faith. The job would come. It had to. It was part of the plan.
It did not help when, on the first day of classes last fall I learned that the college had in fact started a hiring freeze in response to the recession that isn’t really a recession, and that no full time positions were to be offered until further notice – which I was told would be at least a year, maybe two. I remember the weight with which that information hit me. I could not deny this information, and the fault line in my faith began to crack open and grow. I knew that I could not hold out that long. Financially there was no way to maintain the holding pattern for another year, let alone two! I would need to make a move. That was when I stopped writing regularly and started to consider my options. The plan was failing.
I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience, but I suddenly became acutely aware of all of the jobs that people were doing that I really did not want to do. The ones that I thought would take me further away from my family and make me more miserable and depressed. Everywhere I went I saw people working at these jobs, and it had two effects; fear and gratitude. The fear came from the sobering realization that the only thing separating me from working at one of these occupations was a few lucky “or unlucky” breaks and some pieces of paper from various colleges that hang on my wall at home. From my experiences as a teacher, I know that there are plenty of people out there with the same degrees hanging on their walls which have no other purpose than as very expensive decorations or to cover a chip or scratch in the paint behind the frame. The lucky breaks and the people you know seems to have far more power these days “and maybe it always has” than the letters you can put after your name from time spent in institutions of higher learning. I also knew from working with many people who have far more impressive credentials than myself that those expensive pieces of paper and the letters printed after someone’s name can be a very poor indicator as to the overall intelligence or character of someone. Some of the wisest and most “successful” people I have met in this life dropped out of school at a young age and simply went to work to get what they wanted – often starting out in the jobs I was now acutely aware of.
My gratitude while witnessing others working these jobs was more unexpected than the fear. I found myself deeply grateful people are willing to do the work – often dirty, boring, or thankless work that keeps them away from their families and which helps us all out each day. I began to make an effort to thank people for working – just to say “thank you for working today.” Some employees grumbled, and muttered, and let me know that it was not by choice that they found themselves here, but others did not. Many people were surprised by my acknowledgement of their work and were pleasant, and friendly, and told me they were simply doing what they needed to do for themselves and their families in order to survive. All of these people reminded me of how privileged I truly am – how spoiled – how lucky – and despite the trials, and tears and painful challenges along the way, they reminded me of how blessed my life has really been. They also helped me to remember that working at the college was a dream worth holding on to – I would have faith and stick to the plan.
Miracles are often subjective and based largely on the view of those who experience them – I get that. But the fact that the college decided, after no small amount of effort by my future boss, to approve this full time position during the current hiring freeze is miraculous in my eyes. This was an extremely limited opportunity – a very small window – one shot. I am unsure of the amount of applicants who applied – as I mentioned before, I often choose to take the path of ignorance on such matters, believing instead to follow the wise advice of Han Solo who repeatedly reminded C-3PO to “never tell him the odds” when flying through perilous space battles or asteroid fields. I am sure there were many applicants, possibly hundreds. But by the time I entered the room to complete the second part of this interview, none of that mattered – there could have been a thousand candidates – I had complete faith that the plan would come together. I knew this because God told me it would. He also told me that I was the best person for the job, and to never forget how hard I had worked to get here. God’s message came through the voices of people around me and from reviewing every accomplishment and success I have had in this lifetime. None of these deeds came without an incredible dedication to doing what was necessary and doing it repeatedly, hour by hour and day by day. Persistence with the task at hand combined with patience and a vigilant ear for any knocks of opportunity at the door. I saw this same perseverance in the people around me doing what it takes – whatever it takes – to survive, and thrive, and continue on the paths to their goals and plans and dreams. The piper must always get paid before success is achieved – usually over a very long time, in installments, and with a generous gratuity included.
This plan has come together – finally! So today I smile, rejoice, and give thanks. If I smoked cigars, I would have one as Colonel “Hannibal” Smith always did in such moments. Instead I will stop for a moment or two, bask in the wonderful elation of a job well done, and then get back to work. There is much more to be done, more dreams to fulfill, and lots of life left to live…
First – congratualtions! Isn’t it great how things can turn out and show us that everything happens for a reason. I think you’ll be wonderful in this position and the future counselors will be so lucky to have you as a prof!!!!
So happy for you!!
Michelle – thank you! I’m pretty happy too!
Carol – I like to think that there is some opportunity in every crisis – it’s sometimes hard to remember while I’m in the crisis, through! Thank you for the kind words!
CONGRATULATIONS Professor Farr! I am so happy for you! I love teaching college; it is one of my very favorite parts of what I do. We’ve had a hiring freeze at UAlbany for some time, which is a nightmare (I think it’s SUNY-wide). And I can absolutely identify with that fear/gratitude experience!
Mel – Thanks! Hopefully the freeze at U Albany will end soon for you!
Congratulations old bud….. As B.A. would say ” I love it when a plan comes together !! “
Thanks Bill! And that was Hannibal’s qoute! This is why I only played “CHIPS” with you and never “A Team”. By the way, why did you always get to be “Ponch” in CHIPS?
A wise man always told me to think of “in the long run”. Often I did not want to hear it when things didn’t come together in my time. Now however, my life, like yours is very blessed. In the long run is a wise goal. Your students will be very blessed to have you in their lives.