Things were getting ugly. You could feel the anger and tension rising in the mob as each second passed by. More and more people were joining the unruly group, many of them visibly burned, and tired, and dehydrated from hours in the sun. There were children in the midst of it all – some very young, sitting or passed out in strollers. They were the lucky ones. Most of the people – young, old, or somewhere in the middle were left to stand, and suffer, and wait helplessly on the promise that a bus would be coming at some point to take them out of this horrible situation. It was becoming increasingly clear that one bus would not be enough. There would need to be at least two, maybe three to handle this crowd. And still people kept coming. The irony was that buses were indeed around, but none of them was stopping to provide assistance. They kept driving by, some filled with other weary, desperate eyed passengers, and some completely empty except for the driver. I wondered if the drivers of those empty vehicles realized the potential danger they were putting themselves in. It would not have surprised me in the least if at any minute, when the next empty bus went by, our disgruntled group, lead by the woman toward the front of the group who had made it her job to voice her unhappiness with the situation very loudly, and to give the exact count of all the buses that were not stopping to rescue us, if this woman lead an all out assault on the next empty bus. I could see the crowd in my mind, running toward the bus, dragging out the driver, tipping the vehicle over, and possibly setting the thing on fire! Then dancing around the metal carcass, howling and out of control like some crazy scene from “Lord of the Flies”. One thing was for sure – if the mouse that ran this operation had shown up at that point, reminding people that they were in “The Happiest Place on Earth,” it may have been the last words he ever squeaked.
The irony to the situation was this – that I think we all knew the bus or busses would come. I knew they would come. We would not be left here indefinitely. In all probability, we would not even be left in this situation for hours, or even for one whole hour. But it felt like a long time. And we were all tired. And some of the young children I mentioned before were having what we parents commonly term “meltdowns”. This was happening because of the unique combination of extreme excitement these young minds had mixed with hours of walking, and sweating, and standing in lines. These kids were beyond tired, and so were many of the parents. The other truth I held on to in this situation was that once the buses had arrived, and once we had all piled on, and once we were all on the way back to our air conditioned hotel, the mood of the mob would change almost instantaneously to one of relief, and friendliness, and compassion for each other. I had seen this before – having been in this exact situation several times in the past. And it did happen again on this occasion. The mood changed almost immediately when two buses pulled up at our bus stop – people clapped and cheered. My wife and I made sure we were two of the first people to do so. There was no reason to keep the angry vibe going. Once on the bus, all was soon forgiven and we traveled, more or less quietly, back to our rooms for some well deserved rest and relaxation before getting up the next day and following the same exact routine we had gone through today.
And that is the second irony in my story. We were going to repeat the same behaviors the next day. In fact, we would repeat these behaviors for the duration of our time at this “magical” place. And why? Well, I guess because it was worth it. The benefits outweighed the costs. For my family, we also liked the idea of using the public transportation that was provided because it is cheaper “free, in fact,” and better for the environment, and it helps to keep down the amount of traffic and cars around this place – which is already busy enough. So for us, waiting for the bus is O.K. A bit annoying at times, but well worth it. And there were a few times when we didn’t wait at all – when the bus pulled up just as we were walking toward the stop. Those times were nice. We tried to remember those times when we were not so lucky with our timing. We also tried to remember the goal – the point – the reason we were here to begin with. And that had very little to do with changing the transportation schedule or operations within the “kingdom”. It was to be together as a family. And to have some fun. And to make a few memories – hopefully positive ones. In case we forgot those goals, there were many signs around to remind us: “Let the Memories Begin,” they beckoned, or maybe encouraged, or perhaps even challenged some visitors. I guess it all really depended on one’s own perspective, attitude, and level of hydration at the time.
I give great credit and kudos to all families who make this journey. I know from experience and observation that it is not a trip that defines “vacation” in the sense of being a time of great rest and relaxation. It is tiring. And it requires lots of preparation. It requires patience. And it is very hard at times. But for children, it is the “Mecca” of fun kid trips; the be all and end all of coolness and the best place that you could ever choose to take them. And I respect every grown up who makes the trek for their children. That was something else I needed to remind myself during the times that required a tad more patience: when the mental invitations were growing from a minority of “grown ups” in a hot and angry crowd to torch a bus or rip down the barriers in a 90 minute wait line for the flying elephant ride: I needed to remind myself that we were all just trying to do the right thing for our kids. And that deserves respect, understanding, and cooperation. So during those times, when a parent was clearly “on the edge” and could have used a time out under the many “cooling off” sites, I did not add to the problem – I tried to smile and say nothing. I have found that similar energy feeds off itself, be it positive or negative, so I chose to restrain the several hundred blistering, sarcastic, and in my sick mind, hysterical things I could have said about the situations we found ourselves in. It was difficult, for example, not to add to the negativity in the line by pointing out, with as straight a face as I could have mustered, that the 90 minute wait in line would indeed be worth the 5 minute ride on the flying elephants if we got the elephant with the blue hat. Holding back comments such as that one were tough for me, and I am sure I could not help but whisper a few of them to my wife, but overall I believe I held my tongue rather well.
I want to pause here and talk about preparedness in more detail. I don’t suppose that many people would head out for weeks into the desert, or on an ascent of Mt. Everest, or on any trip that you knew would test your physical and mental capabilities without a degree of preparation. And yet, as I looked around at some of the “guests” we were sharing our memories with, they looked completely befuddled by the challenges they found themselves facing. They seemed to have prepared for a completely different trip. Like packing hundreds of pounds of ice for your supplies when you are going to the Arctic Circle. Here are a few examples – certainly not to poke fun but to make my point more clear: apparently there are strollers made today that will easily accommodate quintuplets – and even if you have only one or two children, the salespeople at the stroller store are well versed at convincing some folks how practical these behemoths will be. It turns out that they are not so practical when your day to day functions involve boarding and exiting buses, walking or standing in lines, and maneuvering through hundreds of other families, going in all directions, many with strollers of their own. I never failed to see bottles, diaper bags, maps, and the vital $15.00 free refill mug spill out and roll away from these strollers as anxious parents, usually fathers, tried to collapse the things and drag them onto a bus. Even the most skilled parents, the ones who had practiced with the stroller countless times before going “live”, would get flustered when that bus rolled up and it was “go time”. Maybe they should have loaded it with all the loose items at home and practiced collecting them while standing next to their idling vehicles in the driveway while friends and neighbors pushed past them to get a seat. Another sad site was watching them try to manipulate the things through the gated waiting lines. It was a lesson in futility, a simple case of trying to disprove the laws of physics. I have two words of advice for all families with young kids who are bound for the “kingdom”: umbrella strollers! A second common but painful mistake we witnessed often was the lack of sun tan lotion on many people. I can not fully comprehend why people would not expect the need for protection from the sun. We all know that it is hot in and around this “magical” place. It is located in the south – close to the equator – where it is normally warm – and sunny. Yet every day I would see or hear people talk about “hoping they don’t get burned, because they didn’t put any sunscreen on”. Now, I am not one to dash any person’s hopes, or dreams, or even fantasies – I don’t see it as part of my job description as a member of this planet, and I truly do believe that “hope springs eternal,” in many seemingly tough and dark situations, but hoping against getting a sunburn when you haven’t protected yourself from it seems like hoping to stay cool while you stuff yourself in an oven after you have just turned on the broiler “I hope it stays cool in there!” Another factor that these “hopers” seem to have overlooked were the countless people, red as beets, with strange white stripes, or circles, or tell tale signs of the few places where their skin had been covered during the hottest part of the previous day. These odd, “cooked” souls were a living testament to the undeniable power of UV rays. My last example of preparedness involves footwear. As mentioned before, many young “guests” to the amusement parks had the advantage of being pushed in strollers. I suppose that these lucky children could wear whatever they chose on their feet: sandals, sneakers, glass slippers “don’t even get me started about the new trend of dressing your young “princess” in a full ball gown and full face makeup in 95 degree heat during her stay – and yes – it’s really happening…” but for those of us who have to walk for miles and miles each day, and then to stand for hours in lines, something more comfortable than a glass slipper, or three inch heels, or the countless flip flop sandals I saw seems appropriate. I have nothing against looking good. I also have nothing against being casual, and comfortable. But I question the decision to dress your feet too far on either end of the spectrum when you will be covering miles and miles of hot asphalt each day. We saw more than a few feet covered in blisters, or band aids, or bandages of some kind from poor footwear choices. And all of these things – all of these lessons about preparation and good planning, and thinking ahead are directly related to my wife. She is our planner, and thinker, and good idea go to person. So, if you have any questions about anything related to this memory making place, I encourage you to ask her. She is the reason we have gotten to be successful and happy travelers – she even had the ponchos packed and ready when the unexpected thunderstorm came – now THAT’S good! Without her, I would be the sunburned, fumbling clueless guy with blisters trying to climb into the quintuplet stroller to hide.
I hope my reflections and rants about our trip have not in any way put you off to going for a stay. It really is an amazing place to go, and I have not even described any of the rides, shows or attractions! I like the fact that many of the old rides remain from when I first went as a kid “a belated shout out to my own parents for making the sojourn,” and I was really impressed by the use of technology in many of the modern additions. Of all the family related trips or time you might decide to spend together, this place continues to set the bar – it is the standard by which all other family vacations are measured. And in my opinion this distinction is deserved. The magic is there for your taking. So despite the hard work, the long hours, and the possible need for another, more restful “vacation” after you return, I would strongly encourage all families to put it on their goals list. Just do yourselves a favor, and call my wife before you begin packing the monster truck stroller and glass slippers…
You should be on stage Bri, you’re hilarious. Have you ever seen the series “Grumpy old guide to….”? you should you tube it as i’m sure you’d appreciate it.
Funny stuff……Without a doubt…..I had fun watching people and their strollers. I especially loved the woman walking side by side w/empty triple strollers like snow plows on 87. Also, the boat ride back to the parking lot is 110% better than any bus ride. Nice breeze and plenty of room. I think I saw Capt.Stewbing and his Issac on the boat. I don’t know where Julie was.But you didn’t need Julie, you had Suzy-Q !
I’ve always felt that the elephant with the blue hat is well worth waiting for.