Is part of your holiday tradition watching the same movies and holiday shows each year? I prefer to watch what I consider “The Classics” while wrapping gifts in front of the fireplace. And yes, gifts must be placed in boxes and wrapped – not bagged. I worked as a bagger at the local Grand Union when I was a teenager. Bags are for groceries – not gifts. Each box should be taped shut, requiring the receiver to spend a certain amount of time and effort to access their prize. A bow is permissible, but only the cheaper kind with a sticky back that can adhere, even if only momentarily, to one’s head. Finer bows, ribbons, and other accoutrements only serve to make everyone feel uncomfortable and guilty for opening the box. Think of your package as the outside of a finely created firework – interesting and appealing enough to draw attention but never forgetting that its primary purpose is to be destroyed.
I recognize that there are many ways to celebrate the winter holidays. But some ways are clearly the right way while some are very wrong. This message is amplified and repeated in most of my favorite annual movies. Take Clark Griswold from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” for example. Clark has a deep love for the season and is a true American Christmas expert. He does his best to spread cheer and joy while constantly challenged and berated by the ungrateful, unenlightened mob of Scrooges and Grinches attempting to kill his Holiday Mojo. Clark’s primary focus throughout the story is to use his annual work bonus to buy the family an inground pool. The pool is completely unnecessary (and not asked for by any family members). It’s the perfect symbol of American wealth, excess, and extravagance reflected in Clark’s wise notions about what a successful holiday should be. He bravely clutches to the idealized fantasy (which he calls an Old-Fashioned Family Christmas) sold to us all by greedy American advertisers and retailers. The core and crucial message in this Country about what really matters on December 25th is clear: everyone should get whatever they want.
“Cousin” Eddie Johnson’s Christmas experiences from the past seem very different than Clark’s. It’s discovered that the Johnson family is, in fact, homeless and that they can’t afford any gifts for their children. When Clark offers to pay for the kids’ presents, Eddie responds in true “Cousin Eddie fashion,” by immediately pulling out a list of gifts for not only the kids but the entire Johnson family (including a gigantic bag of dog food for Snots the dog). The contrast between Clark’s imagined pool for his family and Cousin Eddie’s need for basic necessities is perhaps the biggest obstacle Clark faces in his quest to prove that Christmas is about getting only wanted (never needed) gifts!
Another brave and tireless messenger about the upcoming holidays is Ralphie Parker from the film “A Christmas Story.” Although only 9 years old and growing up in the 1940s, Ralphie is a shining example of long-abiding American Christmas values. His obsession with the prized Red Ryder BB gun is a powerful testament to the right we all have to ask for whatever we want for the upcoming holidays. Unlike Clark, who is focused on giving the perfect gift, Ralphie reminds us that American Christmases are about receiving gifts – regardless of how much we already have – and that it’s our right as Americans and human beings to ask for whatever we want. I’m pretty sure that’s stated in the Constitution and every religious text in print. As a matter of fact, I may put a few of those “God Bless the USA Bibles” (made in China) on my shopping list for people I love and who need education about these matters. Both of these tales remind us about what has made American Holidays great over the decades – overabundance, materialism, and self-centeredness – even if you might shoot your eye out in the process.
To do the holidays right, I strongly advise avoiding certain films and shows that only fan the flames of false narratives around what constitutes a successful and fulfilling holiday. The most egregious of these is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Made in 1946, this outdated snooze fest continues to hypnotize untold numbers of losers and suckers into thinking that the upcoming holidays are (get ready for this) about more than money and gifts. In fact, this self-righteous film would have viewers believe that honor, honesty, and helping others who are less fortunate when you’re able to are actually what makes the holidays, and indeed makes life, “Wonderful.”
It’s complete hogwash.
A more accurate telling of this story would recognize Henry Potter, the wealthy and hardworking banker in the movie, as having the true knowledge of what makes a wonderful life. It’s Potter who continually offers to mentor and assist George Bailey, the bumbling, struggling main character of the tale throughout the movie, even though Bailey continually refuses his wise counsel and offers of financial assistance. The film almost derails its enthusiastic endorsement of poverty and loyalty to friends and family over financial success when it portrays Pottersville as the town that was formed because George Bailey was never born. I can only assume that the directors meant to depict Pottersville as scandalous and scary, a place devoid of any moral compass. But during the few minutes that Pottersville is shown, it’s clear that the town is far more prosperous and wealthy than Bedford Falls (the town existing during Bailey’s life) could ever hope to be. The film is clearly a work of wild propagandist fiction, asserting the far-fetched, fear-mongering idea that Americans could someday fall victim to narcissistic, wealthy men like Henry Potter unless we learn some kind of moralistic drivel from failures like George Bailey. The whole tale is an incredible downer, as well as completely contradictory to the meaning of the upcoming holidays.
Another “Holiday Classic” clearly meant to indoctrinate children into undermining capitalism and embracing a snowflakey, socialistic view of life is “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Made in 1965, this clunker of a relic has not held up well at all as our country seeks to make itself great again. At only 30 minutes long, the cartoon (obviously aimed at our kids), follows the blockhead Charlie Brown as he undermines every effort the other children (and his dog Snoopy) put forth to make the Holiday Season a truly impressive extravaganza. The story arc lurches forward with Charlie Brown being the lone dissenter, an annoying voice shouting into the void about a meaning to Christmas that goes beyond tricked-out decorations for one’s doghouse and letters to Santa Claus. That’s right, even the Jolliest Elf of all – the quintessential center of all that is Christmas walks into the crosshairs of this tale’s gun sites (of course, it is the right of any American to point their gun wherever they choose as protected by our sacred and wildly misinterpreted Second Amendment rights – but that’s a topic for another time). Sally, Charlie Brown’s sister, asks for assistance writing her letter to Santa and listing the gifts she would like him to bring. How sweet, right? What a perfect moment to capitalize on the bond between these two siblings and to highlight the magic of St. Nick and his unconditional generosity to all children.*
*Officially the Santa Claus rules state that children must have been ‘good’ all year to get what they want. According to national data, kids in the lowest economic situations – as well as those currently experiencing the highest levels of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) – are the least likely to get anything close to what they ask for. In essence, this means that rich kids (regardless of behaviors) and kids from loving, stable homes (also pretty much regardless of behaviors) will get what they ask for. All other kids are S.O.L.
Unfortunately, the show does not highlight this sweet moment, choosing instead to have Charlie Brown leave in a huff of righteous indignation because his sister chooses to ask Santa to send her money (preferably in tens and twenties) to buy the things she wants. Rather than praising this young person for her ingenuity and selflessness (she’s obviously trying to save all the North Pole elves time and effort in creating her gifts) the misdirected cartoon sends Charlie Brown stomping off to buy a nearly dead Christmas Tree while Sally calmly and wisely delivers the line that should be the central theme of this whole show; “All I want is what I have coming to me,” she declares, “all I want is my fair share.” Wise words indeed.
The last point I’ll make about this poorly crafted, poverty-promoting, disinformation-filled “Classic” is the apparent central idea that finally comes out. It’s Charlie Brown’s oddball, blanket-carrying friend who literally stands in a cartoon spotlight and recites several lines of religious hubbub that are supposed to contain “the true meaning of Christmas.” If you get a break from buying gifts, setting up the inflatable holiday decorations in your yard, or taking out another line of credit to cover the things that Santa’s workshop can’t cover, you can look up this short speech online. In essence, Linus rambles on about angels appearing to shepherds and informing them that a child has been born in a manger whose purpose on Earth is to bring peace and love among all people. Like I said, the kid is strange. I did look up the reference he is making, and not surprisingly, it’s another propaganda piece about a poor couple forced to give birth in a barn who were lucky enough to have gold, frankincense, and myrrh delivered by wealthy men who happened by that night. What incredible luck for the freezing family. Obviously, the wealthy men should be the stars of that story, but they are unfathomably presented as ensemble characters. The original story actual gives top billing to the child born into extreme poverty and with questionable lineage whose life (and death) is somehow meant to give unconditional love to all people.*
*The question of this child’s true intention in the world and capacity to bring peace and love to ALL people has been highly contested over the years – so much so that countless wars, boundless hatred, and condemnation of human beings not fitting the context of ‘ALL people’ continues. There are also some Americans claiming to follow the teachings of this child who believe that, like the Santa Claus rules, a person must be ‘good’ in order to receive the promised peace and love to ALL. The basis for ‘being good’ has also been the source of countless wars, hatred, and condemnation of human beings not following obscure, misrepresented, and/or completely fabricated rules never attributed to the child in Linus’s referenced story.*
*Writer has not yet referenced the ‘God Bless the USA Bibles’ (made in China) to verify if the above-mentioned ‘obscure, misrepresented, and/or completely fabricated rules never attributed to the child’ are somehow further misrepresented or fabricated to clarify which human beings do not qualify as ‘ALL’.
America has long been considered a “melting pot” of countless cultures, ideas, beliefs, and behaviors. I’ve been involved recently in discussions and concerns that the “melting pot” reference no longer serves to accept and honor the differences people bring to our country, but that it now requires complete assimilation – giving up the things that make a person (and their entire culture) unique and special in order to become “Merican.” It’s been suggested that we replace the “Melting Pot” idea with the comparison of America to a salad – where there are many different varieties of ingredients, flavors, and textures, but where none of them have to “melt” in order to conform to a social norm. We are a nation built on many ingredients and flavors and textures. If some are not to our liking, we don’t have to eat them. If our neighbors don’t celebrate Christmas, it doesn’t mean we can’t. But we don’t have the ethical (or legal – at least for now) right to force our ingredients and flavors and “rights and wrongs” on them either. On those nights when I stare vacantly into the darkness wondering what the next few years will bring, it gives me an odd comfort to remember that history is full of times when the deification of dangerous leaders has led to repressive regimes that tried to mandate complete assimilation to unjust and immoral rules in order to make the rich richer and to always keep the poor poorer. These times have never lasted in America – change, progression, and the ideal that ALL people are created equal HAS moved forward throughout time. Sometimes it just moves slower than others, and sometimes it requires intense effort, toil, and suffering by those parts of our collective salad who simply refuse to be negated, melted away, or kept down.
Another abiding truth in our shared history is that nobody lives forever. Much of what we create during our brief time on this precious, fragile planet will be lost within months or years of our individual departure. But the afterglow of our legacy will remain in the hearts and minds of those whom we loved dearly and who loved us back – through the darkest nights of our souls and the brightest sunshine of our spirits.
As we head through the Holiday Season and into 2025, I’m working on acceptance and preparation for what is very likely a dark time for myself and the people I love. I’m refusing to become paralyzed with fear or filled with vengeful hatred (just two ends of the fear spectrum for this Irish-blooded human). One of the advantages of “working a program of Recovery,” rather than just “being sober,” is that my sobriety and sanity relies upon remembering each day what things in this world I’m powerless over and what things I’m not. The short answer is that I’m never powerless over myself, but I’m always powerless over anyone and anything else. It’s why I need to write again. And why I will continue to wrap gifts in boxes with lots of tape and cheap bows on top while watching my favorite holiday movies. I may be powerless, but I refuse to be helpless. It’s my responsibility to stay sober, to protect my loved ones, to recognize and accept (not agree, but accept) that there are some flavors in the American salad that I find really spoiled, rotten, and gross – but that is their right and their journey and their legacy to leave. I will do my best to nurture and protect the sunshine of my own spirit and I hope you are able to do the same.
Whenever I hear about the “Santa Claus
prayer” in the 12/12, I think of Lucy
saying in her letter to Santa, “I have
been a good girl….please send the
following items….noting size and
color of each.” So being good may not
mean that we get the color and size
that we want. Happy Holidays to all.
Whenever I hear about the “Santa Claus
prayer” in the 12/12, I think of Lucy
saying in her letter to Santa, “I have
been a good girl….please send the
following items….noting size and
color of each.” So being good may not
mean that we get the color and size
that we want. Happy Holidays to all.